I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
