I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
