you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
