I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Boobs are out for the taking
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
