Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize