Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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