I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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