If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
