i jhust puked up my retainher.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
