There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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