I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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