if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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