any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize