Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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