do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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