i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
