literally had 100 drinks last night.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
