Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize