I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
