You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
