Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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