PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
