How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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