i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
