i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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