Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I FOUND THE LEGS
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
