Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
