He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
