Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
