I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
