So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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