yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
