yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Randomize
