Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
