CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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