Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
