It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Pooping to opera.
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