Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
