So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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