He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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