I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
