Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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