AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
