Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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