do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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