I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize