you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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