Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
