So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
