Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Randomize
