His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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