I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
