I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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