Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
