Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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