last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im holly from the hills drunk
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I just googled if crying burns calories
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
