he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
