I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
