Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
