i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
