am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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