well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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