I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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